4 am Confessions.

This post is absolutely pointless, but I need to clear my head.


1) If I block something out, or pretend to be doing it enough, I can almost believe it's real.

2) How does it feel to have someone who's insane about you? Powerful? Guilty? Amused? Pleased? Let me know.

3) I like it when I see emails addressed to me. Personal ones. From real people. Hardly ever happens, but there it is.

4) I have no idea what to do with my life. I would like to fast forward at least the next 3 years.

5) Give me a sign? Hit me baby one more time? Hahaha.

6) I'm turning 18 next month, and I don't want to. It's not any of the "OMG transitional phase in life" crap, getting senti about shit. Seen enough 18 year olds to know its bull. I'd like to be....well... 21? 22? 23? Just out of this "teen" phase.

7) I wish I'd met you later in life. It was the wrong time to have bumped into you. Sometimes, I wonder whether I should stop talking to you and resume contact 5 years later. Would it change things?

8) I have weird issues with people liking me. I have weird issues with people not liking me. If life went the way I'd want it to go, I'd still have weird issues. So I just have weird issues.

9) My friends mean the world to me. You're one of the most special ones. It means a lot when you call and apologise in your own silly way. I like feeling like I mean something. Not just to you, to all my friends.

10) I know I've driven people up the wall with my whining and ranting, and yet they've been tolerant.( Thank you Zh=)) But I can't handle it when people whine to me if I think their issues are insignificant. I don't know if I'm a bitch for it or not.

11) I like being looked out for. I like looking out for people who mean something to me.

12) Despite everything this has probably been the best winter of my life in the past 4 or 5 years. I'm going to miss you losers. A lot.

13) I have peculiar taste in friends. Seriously peculiar taste. I like it quite a bit, actually.


Rest I'll save for my special New Year post.
Hahah. I am so lame. I love it.