What's gone is gone, eh?

I don't know who I am anymore now that I know the difference between what I want to do and what I'm supposed to do. I stick to the latter, because doing what I wanted just lead me right into trouble. Sometimes I think I'd like to have that feeling back, but look what it did to me. I suppose I'm better off without it and without you, and it would be stupid to ask "Then why does it feel like something's missing?", because obviously, it takes time to get used to the absence of something/one who's wreaked such havoc in your life while being such an important part of it. It takes one word to make life pause and go on a fast rewind of everysinglething and I've been thinking about it. It makes me feel lost. In a few seconds.

If I say it shouldn't have been this way, that's a lost cause, right?

Now that I'm actually going somewhere, it seems to be a point where nothing is moving. I need to figure it all out in my head. It's not unhappiness, more like being clueless.

Are you listening?


How did we get here, I used to know you so well.
Hahah yes, Paramore.